uhh...wtf?

Perusing the local paper, I found an article that was, well, deeply disturbing: At purity dances, virgin belles ring. Purity balls are, according to www.PurityBall.com, "a Christ-centered evening that encourages biblical values and strengthens the bond between fathers and daughters." That sounds innocuous enough on first blush, but I must say, my feminist leanings are all aquiver. Consider the quote: "It's like I'm devoting my virginity to my dad" (taken from the article above). Umm...I guess this sounds a little icky to me. But more than that, the idea that young girls as property and sex as a commodity are exemplified by this fine Tshirt, sold at purity balls:
Excuse me? "This Property"?! Not to launch into a diatribe (no promises) but this is ridiculous. It is also interesting to note that there is no Mother-son purity balls in which young boys pledge their virtue and virginity to their mothers. But then, that flies in the face of the idea, outlined in Purity Ball propaganda, that the act of sex and sexual purity is a gift a woman can give her husband.

I read this article the other night, and I keep coming back to it. I'm truly bothered by the issue. Now, this is not to say I promote wanton sexuality; I fully intend to educate my children, MALE AND FEMALE, about sex, about the importance of waiting until they are emotionally more mature, and about the emotional fallout from sexual relationships gone awry. But this isn't the same as treating my daughters like chattel, who damn well better keep their legs shut so that they don't ruin their marital prospects. Our sons and our daughters deserve to know about their bodies, about sex, about what we, as parents, expect from them, and what behavior our individual moral codes suggest.
But back to the article. At purity balls, fathers give their daughters promise or purity rings that the daughter will keep until her wedding, where she will return the ring to the father who, in turn, passes it on to the husband. First off, a promise ring is a ring exchanged to show the intent to become engaged. Now I love my dad, but I'm not promising to become engaged to him. Secondly, this smacks of the idea that a woman belongs to her father until she belongs to her husband (the ring as a symbol of ownership passed from one to the other). I, for one, belong to neither my father nor my husband. I belong to me. And as an individual, I am free to love my husband wholly, not as my owner or master, but as my equal and my companion. I just wish we could teach our children that sex is not a commodity, women are not property, and that relationships should not be based on a master-servant model.

More articles/information about Purity Balls:
Wikipedia.org entry
Generations of Light (originators of the Purity Ball)
Glamour Magazine article
USA Today editorial
Father-Daughter Purity Ball website

Pickleship 001

oh god...not again.

A fresh new blog to document the travels and travails of my new (wedded) life in Chicago. Or, maybe just something to do while Mr Muffins (the other half of 'wedded') is off being productive. To begin *ahem* SEX TOURISM: omigod. Well, now that THAT's over with. *cracks knuckles and passes out*